Good jokes for teachers

Good jokes for teachers

Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?
Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me ?Why was the head teacher worried ?
Because there were so many rulers in the school !

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, “if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” “Someone else’s pants”.

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?” The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

School is where you always try to do your best-except when your friends are watching.

Teacher: Why are you standing on your head ?
Pupil: I’m just turning over things in my mind, sir !

Teacher asked George: how can you prove the earth is round? George replied: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.

I went to a tough high school. In biology we used to dissect custodians.

Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is ?
Pupil: Lassie !

To be a first-grade teacher you have to have skill, dedication, and an immunity to knock-knock jokes.

Teacher: If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be ?
Pupil: Stale !

The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.

School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives.

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

College would be great if it weren’t for all the classes.

Teacher: What is “can’t” short for ?
Pupil: Can not miss.

The best part of going back to school is seeing all your friends. The worst part is that your teachers won’t let you talk to them.

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won’t freeze ?
Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them !

We used to call it “recess.” Today they call it “cease fire.”

Teacher: and what is “don’t” short for
Pupil: Doughnut !

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