Shaadi ke baad husband-wife movie dekhne gaye
Husband – tum purus ko kis Nazar se dekhti ho
Wife – Saadi ke baad- “Ek tha Tiger” aur
saadi se pahle “Tiger abhi jinda hai”

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baarish aur patni Shuru-Shuru mein achchhi lagti hai …..
baad mein….kich kich kich kich ….
dhyaan se hanso kahi patni dekh na le varana ole bhi pad sakata hai !

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Pati patni jokes- Pati patni ki godh mein leta hua thaa.
Patni: Kaisa lag raha hai ji?
Pati: Aise jaise Bhagwan Vishnu shesh naag ki Godh mein lete hon.

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Pati apni patni se (suhagraat ko):
Jaaneman apna chand sa chehra to dikaho…
Chehra dekte hi pati bola:
Arey tumhare chehre par to kale dhabbe or gadde hai,
tumhare maa baap ne mujhe dhoka diya hai.
Patni: Dear recent research se chand ka yahi roop samne aaya hai.

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Wife: Kaash tum aise sms hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Husband: Aur kaash tum
aisi Ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta.

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Saadi ki pahli raat ko patni boli-
Aaap mere prannath aur mein apke charno ki dasi.
Shaadi ke baad woh ho Gaya Charandas aur,
woh ho gayi prano ki pyaasi.

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Kaun Banega Crorepati mein mujhse 1
Crore ka prashn(Question) puchha gaya ki
“Aap ki nazar mein duniya ki sabse
khatarnaak mahila kaun hai?”
kasam se maine 1 Crore ko thokakar
maar di par naam nahin batya
kyonki shaam ko ghar bhi jaana tha….
~ ~ ~
Kaun Banega Crorepati husband wife Jokes

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According to Right to Privacy now wife can’t ask…
*****
Where are you?
When will you come?
Whom are you talking to?
What’s your program?
Why your mobile was busy?
Whom are you with?
How much are you earning?
*****
All thanks to Supreme Court. I hope I have understood the judgement correctly!

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Aaj subah se hi mere mitr likh rahe hain …
“jo amrt pite hain unhen Dev kahate hain aur jo vish pite hain unhen MahaaDev kahte hain!”
are bhai … jo Rojaana donon hi cheez thoda thoda karake pite hain unhen bhi to PatiDev kahte hain!
new husband wife jokes

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Husband-Aajkal ghar me Wife bhi baat-baat mein GST-GST bolane lagi hai.
ghar mein koi bhi bahas chal raha hai vah GST bol kar bahas ko khatm kar deti hai.
tang aakar main poonchh hi liya: – “ye tum baat karte-karte beech mein
hi GST bol kar chal dete ho- kya matalab hai tumhaara ?
aur usane jo javaab diya to Mai sar pakad kar baith gaya
G – galati(mistake)
S – bas(only)
T – tumhaari(Yours) hai ….

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Pati: arz karta hoon ki
Jag ghoomaya thaare jaisa na koi,
Jag ghoomaya thaare jaisa na koi.
Patni: ghar ki saaf-saphai mein haath batao varana …
dimaag ghoomaya to maare jaisa na koi…pati patni funny shayari

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Pati Patni kisi parti me jaa rhe the
Pati – tala sahi se laga diya na
Patni – aji jane do ghar me paise to hai hi nahi
Pati – are tala sahi lagao
isliye nahi ki koi paise chori kar lega
balki isliye ki koi rakh ke na chala jaye

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Yadi beevi ke naam par 2.5 laakh jama karaane ki chhutti hai to,
saali ke naam par bhi 1.25 laakh jama karaane ki chhoot honichaahie.~ akhil bhaaratiy jeeja sangh!

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Pati: aaj se tum Manager ke saath rahane vaali ho.
Patni: awww kaise hon vo dikhane mein?
Pati: paagal kaheen ki, main Manager ban gaya hoon.

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Pati patni me jhagda ho raha tha
Pati – Me koi tumse darta hu
Patni – Darte to tum ho,
pahli baar jab tum mere ghar aye
the to pure 250 logo ke sath aye the
or mughe dekho me akele chale ayi na………..husband wife jokes

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Dev aur Patidev donon mein kya antar hai?
Dev ki aarti – Sukhkarta, Dukhharta…
Patidev ki aarti – Aisaakarta, Vaisaakarta !

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Wife: shaadi ke baad tum mujhase Jaada pyaar nahi karte…
Husband: Darling Exam clear hone ke baad kaun padhata hai?

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It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.